I recently came across a blog that purported to be authored by a special needs teacher. I really hope it isn't. I hope it's just a made up piece of garbage. First of all, the title of the blog had a variant of 'retard' in it. Are there people older than 7 still calling developmentally disabled people that? I read almost all the entries. I felt compelled. It was like reading a long list of "What NOT to do when working with kids." Every blowout or act of aggression the author described could be traced back to something that was completely her fault. For example, deliberately disrupting the routine of a kid with not only autism, but a serious case of OCD. One of the fundamental things to keep in mind when dealing with someone with autism, or anyone with a developmental disability, is that it's not necessarily about power to them. At least, not the kind of power struggles you and I can recognize. So many people in this field fall victim to that kind of mentality. They take negative behaviour personally, and mount a mini-vendetta against a student/client.
Perhaps you are working with someone who has the odd quirk of deliberately spilling her drink on the floor. For no reason that you can discern, she will just up and pour the contents of her glass on the floor beside her. She might smile when doing it. She might even have a look on her face that could be read as defiance. You've spoken with her about it, numerous times. You've explained that it makes an awful mess, that if she keeps it up she won't get anything else to drink, you may have even considered yourself clever and only given her juice boxes with straws, but still she leans over and dribbles all of her drink on the floor.
Why?
Clearly she's got 'behaviour issues,' right? I mean, you've spoken to her time and again about it. You've explained it to her calmly (and as it went on, let's face it, decidedly not so calmly) that that pouring her drink on the floor is something that we just don't do. Even though she does it all the time, with other people around, you're her key worker, and you're the one who's spoken to her the most about it. So, it's a conflict between you and her. She's pushing the boundaries. She's testing you. She's trying to see how much she can get away with. As time passes, and each and every meal time, no matter what you try (juice boxes, spill proof cups, closely regulating the amount of liquid in her glass) she still pours her drink all over the floor. This has become something more than just a trivial quirk. This is her exerting control. This is between you, in your role as teacher and supervisor, and her, in her role of student and trainee.
Or is it?
What if she pours her water out of the glass onto the floor because she likes the way it sounds? She likes the patterns the water makes as it lands and pools around her feet? Her devious smile is really one of simple joy. Her look of defiance is merely the stare of someone concentrating hard at listening to each drop hit the floor. True, you've asked her not to spill her drink, and from her point of view, she did stop. When you turned your back and she proceeded to pour the water onto the floor again, *directly after* you'd just spoken to her, would seem to you like a deliberate act of defiance. But to her, when you turned your back, the episode was over. You didn't want her to spill her drink that *one* time, and so she stopped. This is a *different* time. A completely *separate* situation. Whether she poured the water two seconds or two years after you spoke to her doesn't matter. She is simply not capable of making the connection between then and now. This isn't a power struggle between you and her, to her. If she's autistic, it's possible she's barely even aware of you. And if she is aware of you, it's analogous to you or I being aware of the weather. You are an external force to her, one that she has no control over and doesn't comprehend that she *could* affect you.
Of course, it does go the other way, and the little bastard really *is* testing you.
And you have to figure out which is which.
That's when the fun begins.
Perhaps you are working with someone who has the odd quirk of deliberately spilling her drink on the floor. For no reason that you can discern, she will just up and pour the contents of her glass on the floor beside her. She might smile when doing it. She might even have a look on her face that could be read as defiance. You've spoken with her about it, numerous times. You've explained that it makes an awful mess, that if she keeps it up she won't get anything else to drink, you may have even considered yourself clever and only given her juice boxes with straws, but still she leans over and dribbles all of her drink on the floor.
Why?
Clearly she's got 'behaviour issues,' right? I mean, you've spoken to her time and again about it. You've explained it to her calmly (and as it went on, let's face it, decidedly not so calmly) that that pouring her drink on the floor is something that we just don't do. Even though she does it all the time, with other people around, you're her key worker, and you're the one who's spoken to her the most about it. So, it's a conflict between you and her. She's pushing the boundaries. She's testing you. She's trying to see how much she can get away with. As time passes, and each and every meal time, no matter what you try (juice boxes, spill proof cups, closely regulating the amount of liquid in her glass) she still pours her drink all over the floor. This has become something more than just a trivial quirk. This is her exerting control. This is between you, in your role as teacher and supervisor, and her, in her role of student and trainee.
Or is it?
What if she pours her water out of the glass onto the floor because she likes the way it sounds? She likes the patterns the water makes as it lands and pools around her feet? Her devious smile is really one of simple joy. Her look of defiance is merely the stare of someone concentrating hard at listening to each drop hit the floor. True, you've asked her not to spill her drink, and from her point of view, she did stop. When you turned your back and she proceeded to pour the water onto the floor again, *directly after* you'd just spoken to her, would seem to you like a deliberate act of defiance. But to her, when you turned your back, the episode was over. You didn't want her to spill her drink that *one* time, and so she stopped. This is a *different* time. A completely *separate* situation. Whether she poured the water two seconds or two years after you spoke to her doesn't matter. She is simply not capable of making the connection between then and now. This isn't a power struggle between you and her, to her. If she's autistic, it's possible she's barely even aware of you. And if she is aware of you, it's analogous to you or I being aware of the weather. You are an external force to her, one that she has no control over and doesn't comprehend that she *could* affect you.
Of course, it does go the other way, and the little bastard really *is* testing you.
And you have to figure out which is which.
That's when the fun begins.
posted by Braden | 12:12 AM
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